Energy to Burn & Back to Nature

Energy

Although there’s been a fair amount of time since my course in Vipassana, the individual days and the title of each blog post that I committed to memory upon the reflection each evening, are all still fresh in my mind.

Day 7 was the first day that I didn’t feel the overwhelming need to rest in the lunch and afternoon breaks.  Having come through the pain barrier and a number of emotional hurdles during my day’s of silence, this day was a reminder of how grateful I am for my health.  I am mostly cognisant of the correlation between my physical well being and that of my quality of life, however today’s reflection was another reinforcement of how taking a break from toxins such as alcohol and incorporating more vegetables, some fruit and drinking lots of water, can be a simple but effective tool.

Because of the additional energy I had, the additional joy I could incorporate into my day increased – I walked more, through the beautiful bush and over the rocky outcrops on the property; I sat and admired the birds, the clouds and listened to the sounds of nature. It’s funny because when I talk to others about my experience at this course most are shocked and bewildered at why I want to do it again, yet it is just these experiences – of getting back to basics, being present, switching off from technology and other distractions and continually practicing mastering my mind, that are the reasons I would rather pose the question – why wouldn’t I.

 

Nature.jpg

Day 8: Back to Nature

Being in nature rejuvenates me, it makes me look in wonder at our world, it reminds me of how much beauty we are surrounded by, how precious life is and how much I have to be grateful for.  There’s so much to see when you choose to be quiet, present and observe your surroundings.  I watched as a blue wren flittered in and around the bushes, a goulds monitor moving through the undergrowth, the glistening web of a spider, dancing shadows as the sun peered through the tree tops… even reminiscing about that day has me feeling calm, centred and happy.  In fact that’s something I’m learning to do more of – rather than seek happiness just in the present or the future for that matter, those goals I’m working towards.  There is more benefit in looking to where I’ve come from, what I have achieved to remind me that I can be happy in the now.

Nature has many lesson’s that she’s constantly teaching us but the question is are we willing to listen?  Our environment is ever changing, with the ebbs and flow of the water, the wind, the earth, day to night and day after day ever evolving.  I’m an evolutionary woman… having been born with a womb yet unable to carry, I now seek to give birth to my inner light.   Woah there trigger – too deep?!? I think that’s a whole other episode or three 😉

I do like to go in depth and challenge my own thoughts and hopefully get you thinking too but we’ll save that for another day.  Let’s get back to nature…

Day 8 for me was another heaven on earth moment – such bliss – I get it when Barbara Marx Hubbard talks to the inner ‘Compass of Joy’ because it’s times like this that I am feeling connected to the world and to my self, the authentic me.  Isn’t that what we’re all looking for… happiness and more accurately, happiness in the now!  I do believe that to be attainable through choice, through mastering your mind, feeding your soul and actively seeking the experiences that your compass of joy can bring into your life when your willing to listen to it.

This is the point at which you get to choose your next adventure… Heaven on Earth or The Pain Barrier or just as awesome would be if you share your thoughts – you can add them below or engage me direct mailto: susie@MsSusanne.com.au

If you’re not ready to take your next adventure now then you can always subscribe and come back later…

smileykiss

Misery to Happiness

Arriving Day 0 I had no (real) idea what I was about to embark on, sure I’d read the website and the emails sent to me about the guidelines for the course but the reality of what I was doing would only become evident through the actual participation.  That’s how the course is designed and was what resonated with me from the first day – experiential learning, which in my opinion is the only way to truly learn and move from a knowing (or intellectual wisdom) to understanding (experiential wisdom).

The first couple of days were a blur… It was Day 3 that took me from misery to happiness but before we get into the nitty-gritty I want to set the picture for you.  The property that the course takes place at is 40km outside of Brookton on a beautiful piece of Western Australian countryside with granite outcrops and views over the valleys.

day3rockyoutcrop

What I was about to undertake was a 10 day course in the Vipassana meditation technique.  In short it involves no talking, no technology or contact with the outside world, meditation from 0430 – 2130 and two vegetarian meals daily… yep it was always going to be a challenge but that’s why I wanted to do it.  I enjoy a challenge and new experiences, my life has been enriched as a result of this philosophy and this Vipassana course was further evidence of that.

Having focused intently for two days already just on breathing and with no one to talk to but myself the morning of Day 3 I found myself crying with the pain and fear of loss. Loss of love, loved ones and being left alone.  My biggest fears rising to the surface overwhelmed me as I recalled memories of my Father not being affectionate, my Mother leaving when I was 2, my desperation and cling’iness to boyfriends, friends who dismissed me and the passing of my beloved family members.  More accurately though it wasn’t so much fear but a belief that I wasn’t worthy of love.

Given other work I’d done before on my personal development I knew it was okay to let these emotions rise and not suppress my need to cry as I was releasing it from my body and my mind, making space for the light and happiness to take its place.  Which is exactly what happened later that day and was further evidence of the Vipassana teaching and theory that we would hear each evening between 2000 and 2100 as the wise words of S N Goenka would guide us on our experiential learning path.  The mind is fickle and moves from one thing to the next, at times, without much rhyme or reason and when we engage with the thoughts we seem to embed them deeper into our sub-conscious.

What happened next I have to warn you would be classified MA 15+ (as it contains classifiable elements such as sex scenes)

ma152b

The meditation sessions for the remaining afternoon dragged up memories and images of my boyfriends, sexual partners and one night stands.  Now, I’m a very physical person and it’s certainly true that one of my primary love languages is physical touch but by the end of the diatribe my mind threw up and with the Day 3 discourse I was starting to get my first taste of experiential wisdom.  Having gone from the misery of feeling unloved, desperate for love even… my mind reminded me of all the times I had sought love; some genuine, others a glimpse of possibility or just the physical manifestation of lust.  Reminders all the same that this external validation of love that I was seeking was also impermanent. Continue reading “Misery to Happiness”