What a way to wake up I tell you!
After 6 days of no talking to the 25+ women around me, which means only my internal dialogue to listen to, is it any wonder that my brain started to throw song tracks at me as another way of providing revelations or in other words (as Mike put’s it) distinctions about what was holding me back.
Yep that’s the one… I woke to, I was Hooked On A Feeling and I was ‘high on believing that you’re in love with me’ – if you’ve read from Misery to Happiness, then you’ll know where I’m going with this… if not stick with me, you’ll get the gist.
I literally woke up to this singing in my brain “Hooked On A Feeling” I had to laugh out loud (literally). Given it was just over half way through the course I was fully immersed in the nuances of my mind and how it would flick from one thing to the next, how it showed me memories and started all these sensations in my body as a result of the emotions or feelings that I craved or in some cases had an aversion to. This song was exceptionally apt to this distinction I was getting.
But low and behold this wasn’t the only song that my brain decided to confront me with this glorious morning. So I’m heading up the pathway to the meditation hall, looking up at the starry sky, massive smile on my face from the mornings festivities in my brain already and voila, literally out of no where comes Heaven Must be There
Seriously… I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried! I do love to have a laugh and although silence was the norm, I kept myself amused. Which reminds me of an earlier situation, just a couple days into the course, lying on my bed in the ladies dorm resting on one of our breaks. When one of the ladies in the bunk bed next to me, a look of distress on her face, with a frustrated posture and rushed step, she gets down off the bunk and heads for the door. To which I think to myself “was it something I said”.
Time and again I found myself enthralled, observing how my mind works and as my practice was teaching me, seeking to remain equanimous. As has I believe always been the case, a positive outlook on life provides the opportunity to be happy all the time #ThisIsOptimism. In saying that I have suffered from depression and during that stage of my life I couldn’t find the light, a reason to be happy and I could barely bring myself to function. In fact it took me a long time to get myself out of that black hole. With the help of prescription drugs, counseling, hypnotherapy and the love and belief of my framily, I was able to make it back (18+ years ago now) but in reflection it wasn’t that there was nothing to be happy about that existed in my life, there was, I just couldn’t see it. And that’s how our minds work if we don’t master them, the negative continues to feed and fuel our emotions, the sensations and feelings we experience. Which may well be why I love the saying “you want to laugh, otherwise you’d cry” and I often use it when I do have challenges that come my way these days. For me it comes down to gratitude.
Have you stopped to think lately – what am I grateful for?
This concept of gratitude was something my Dad taught me, he was a grumpy old man (most of the time) believing that the world had done him wrong. He held grudges against those who wronged him, was bitter at his ‘less than’ lot in life and afraid that he couldn’t provide for his only daughter. We received hampers at Christmas and I got to choose a toy from the Salvo’s who visited us, my second hand clothes and the stray pets I used to collect – all of these things remind me that I wasn’t a child being brought up in a 3rd world place like my mother’s country and I am forever grateful to my Dad for bringing me up in this lucky country #Australia.
I was listening to Bert Jacobs this morning and I couldn’t help but be inspired and grateful for the reminder. He (and his brother) nailed it – Life isn’t Easy, Life isn’t Perfect but Life is Good! I hope you are inspired to look into what’s positive in the world, what there is to be happy about in your life and maybe even how you can be brighter and bring light to others.
This is the point at which you get to choose your next adventure again, a trip from Misery to Happiness or into The Pain Barrier. It would also be awesome if you could share with me your thoughts – you can add them below or engage me direct susie@mssusanne.com.au
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It's the Journey not the Destination 
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